Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Lovey Dovey Tuesday : A Break Up

Oh,I shouldn't post this.. Really shouldn't.. That's why I type this in English so most of you will be lazy enough to read em.. Hopefully.. It's just I have no one to share about this personally and hopefully, this blog and most of you who 'read this' will heal me..

 

As usual,this is a story of my friend.. I mean, BEST FRIEND!! Yeah.. Even the title totally told you what I'm gonna talk about right?? For those who know this story,just shut up and tell si Aki what si Aki should do if you're in my shoes..


this Girl,who were si Aki's BEST FRIEND ever even since childhood, and you know how close it will be when we are friend for more than a decade.. Yeah,since kindergarten and you know how our friendship means to us.. she pronounced the BREAK UP words to my newly best friend that I know about two plus year..

What will most of you do?? For si Aki, when it comes to giving advice, I can't be in a BIAS mode.. Totally cannot.. The GUY (let we name him as Steven), Steven were asking for an advice from si Aki, and all si Aki can do is, I don't know what to DO!!..

Well,it remind be about 5 plus years ago, which I am in a same shoes with him, and all I done was, finish my pay to BEER, jump out from 1st floor of Our KFC Hostel room to the ground (which is fun and not harmful.. Ha ha) and put up a resign letter to go to kampung and pegi potong getah.. Is that the things I wanna tell him to do?? Hell No,I don't wanna ruin somebody's life for a foolish act like I done about 5-6 years ago.. No way!!

Meanwhile the Girl (let us name her Heidi) Heidi was asking for a support from si Aki.. Yeah,I support her as a friend of course,but in terms of this case,I support the GUY.. Definitely,especially when Heidi is the one who are making excuse and asking for the break up.. If you are here reading this,I'm sorry, You are really my best friend and I'll support you on everything you done after this, but not this decision.. Not this one.. Pretty please,a NO!!

You know the most painful part is?? Steven and Heidi were in their relationship for like 5 years!!! I don't want to tell you the detail about their relationship,but yeah, you know what an 'IN LOVE GUY' will do to treat her special one along that time huh?? So,no need for me to tell you...

And one thing for sure,if a Man dump a girl,the world will be fuckin piss about it.. But when this kind of case happen, a girl dump a very good guy,the world will say

"No worry,time will heal"

"Kalau ada jodoh,takkan kemana"

Fuck!! Again it's a damn sentence.. Hey,you know what, GIRL have their girlfriend to speak out.. While guys mostly, (me not included, I have my own feminine side.. Ha ha ha) will never speak out to anyone because we don't have that 'girl to girlfriend' relationship to share what we have.. Even if we share it, will end up as a laughing matter, that are GUYS system..

So,you who read this to this point,what will you do,what advise should I give to Steven?? what should I talk to Heidi?? This is the first time ever I'm unable to consult someone who really need me most.. Trust me,I have my own time too.. So,please.. If you're reading this crappy things of mine till you reach here,then give me your opinion..Drop a comment.. Thanks!!




Aki : Argh,how could this happen to me? (the I don't know what to say part)

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15 hacking script:

Nana Eddy said...

Truthfully, there's nothing you can say. If the girl wants to leave, nothing he do will change that fact, and forcing her to stay will only cause more heartache to both of them.

Breakups are always hurtful. Both sides are usually hurt. If it were me, I would spend more time with my friends and family. each time I feel bad, I'll turn towards Him and pray that my heart won't hurt that much anymore and that I would be able to forget or be at peace with the fact.

I'll fill my time with work, activities, events. Make myself busy. maybe take a leave and go do something tiring like hiking, swimming or other sports. Or join any volunteering. Something to fill my mind and remind me that the world did not end just yet. Even if that person is gone, I am still living, and so, continue living I shall be.

But MOST IMPORTANT thing first to do is to accept. Accept the fact that it's over. Tell him, it's okay to feel sad or cry. No one's gonna judge. It's okay to feel angry or get mad. But don't hurt himself. After that, just remember to smile. Even if it's fake. Coz soon, the brain will register, that everything is going to be okay. So continue smiling.

I took a lot of time to heal myself. But I never stopped living. I never do anything that could harm myself. Because I remember, my life is not only mine. My parents, family, friends who cares for me and of course GOD has their share in me. If I hurt myself, I'm not the only one getting hurt, they will too.

All the best Aki.

SoLy SoLicious said...

its hurtfull ..huhu

Red Cherry and Avocado said...

Entahlah Aki saya pun confuse. Biar keadaan sajalah menentukan ( jiwang juga ayat) but itulah the best advice saya rasa kan.

misya mialen said...

aki: aku fhm tu perasaan ko.aku pernah ada kwn lelaki yg kena dump oleh gf dia slps 5 or 6 thn dorg kapel.mmg kesian aku sm tu kwn aku. mlm2, bila dia x dpt tidur, dia kol aku bw keluar mkn2 dan cerita2. aku dgr jak, biarkan dia luah apa yg dia rasa dan aku beri pendapat apa yg patut. dlm kaunseling,;D, kita kena dgr apa saja mslh org tapi, kita kena beri dia peluang tuk cari jln sendiri yg bersesuaian dgn diri dia.kita ni, berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu memikul kan. mmg sakit tu ki, kena kasi tinggal. skrg ni, dia perlukan kau, so ko layan jak wlupun ko sdh malas.hihi.

ko tau ki, aku layan jak tu kegilaan kwn aku. last2 dia berjaya terima kenyataan dan skrg pun dia sdh kawen;D. baru jak bb dia lahir.;D. ko tau aki, dia dpt perempuan yg lebih baik dr dulu;D

♥ Connie , said...

Awwww, man ~ 5 years is quite a long time, but but, do remember, love is not always holding on, but letting go, giving each other spaces, to grow up, explore life and the most important things is, forgive to forget. it never that easy to let go someone that we've love, someone that we've spend entire time with him/her, i believe that true love never dies. dear Aki's bestfriend, you deserves someone better :)

Wency Elizabeth said...

Only Time could mend the broken heart..

nGiau said...

you're so right aki..yeah, this post is like a wake-up call to me. back to the main point, for me there's always be the reason why heidi dumped steven..but, the one thing that i'm sure is heidi will be regret about this..well it's 5 year..who can stand a relationship for 5 years?? tell me..(except the married one). to steven, i know how it feels to lost someone that we really love and care..but, the one thing that always in my mind is THEY WILL BE SOMEONE THAT MUCH BETTER THAN HEIDI..God will send the better one for you steven :)

p.s if you want to see heidi happy, you always want the best for her..yeah, it feels super duper pain right now but..one day, you will find your true love :)

curryegg said...

It must be very hurtful and painful for both of them, even for yourself too as their best friend. You've done whatever you could and I'm sure your caring side can help your bestfriend.

I do agree with Nana and Connie that nothing much can be done and love is not always holding on but letting go too.

Also, throughout my life experiences, I have learned that it's hard to give opinion on either party when it comes to relationship issue because couple themselves know better. Probably the girl is seeking something which she can't find in the guy. So, she decided to leave rather than lying on herself n the relationship. Again, no one knows other than themselves.

I did read articles before, saying that males are prone to depression more compare to females because they're unable to express themselves (due to social pressure). Thus, males suspress their feeling and make it hard to heal. Maybe what you can do is, encourage him to express or just company him to go through the hardship?

Hope these help =)

ABU said...

i duno what to say la aki.. but ya, i also do agree with Nana..accept that it's over.. :D

mi$$ oZja said...

wow..5 years is way too long. During that time, they must have know each other too well. they must had talked about marriage, having a family and everything.

ko tau ni femes quote kn aki? if u love something, set it free. if it comes back, it was meant to be.. tapi sy xberapa setuju sama ni quote, i think, if u love something, go and fight for it. what if u set it free and it never comes back?

i believe they had been through a lot of things together. if she really love him, she would try to fix the broken things. but if they still failed, then they should consider moving on.

just maybe..love had left them behind. =.="

Umie Artoqiemie said...

huiyo.. semua panjang komen.. aki, cam sik cayak jak terjun dari tingkat kfc ya..hahahaha.. yer feminine side.. ehem2..

Camy said...

wow. 5 years relationship is hard to let go. but people comes and people goes right? you cant force the girl too. so why not ask him to think more positively like take it as part of the beautiful memories in life. http://c-a-m-y.blogspot.com/2011/09/make-step.html hope this will help :)

Armstrong said...

Wow wow... 5 years is way a long time and for sure that relationship is really precious that asking a break up without the agreement from both sides is not sufficient. Both parties must agree to the decision, and not just the guy or the girl for this matter.

Whatever it is, my best advice is... just let it go. If the other one does not want you anymore, there's nothing more you can do about it, except for sitting down and chat... but if the person really does not have any special feeling anymore then, what's the point. So, just let it go.

From experiece, (show this to your buddy, Aki hehehee) a break up is a chance for you to get to know yourself better. Believe me, after a few weeks, you might be crying or whatandall, but time will heal. And eventually, you will find a better one, suited for you. And while you're still single, the best thing to do now is just enjoy the single life, believe me, being in a relationship of course has many benefits if you know what I mean hahaa, but being single has its advantages too... you can do a lot of awesome things because you have freedom. Just enjoy the single life before going into any serious relationship. Or better yet, practice your flirting skills.

Okay, that's for my advice. LOL sorry a panjangs sangat... but really, seriously speaking, of course I love my girl very much now, but I sometimes I wished I could rewind the time when I was single so that I could do a lot a lot of stuff! Wakakaa. Paham-paham ja la. Ok enough, ciao!

beaty said...

wah sangat pedih kalau pasal break2 ni..ermmm sa ind atau mcm mana ni..he he tapi memng sakit lah...deiii

Miki Aya said...

first of all, i might want to know the reason behind their breakup. if, it's because of boredom, or unfaithfulness, then it's better for them to go their own way.

undoubtedly, steven will get the wrong ends of the stick, so i suggest you to spend more time with him, calming the storm. he'll need the support. even more than that, ask him to think (really think).

heidi will be fine. she's the one dumping, anyway. unless.....if she dumps steven because of something 'bad' he did. she might even have girlfriends to talk to, so it's ok.

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